Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I need to align my fucking chakras
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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