this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize