just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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