It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
