Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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