Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
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Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize