i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
