well I can't set my house on fire every night
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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