You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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