For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize