bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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