is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
