I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize