I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's never too late to be topless.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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