This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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