I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
she peed on how many people?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.