i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
