We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize