I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize