Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
