She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
