do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
