You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
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