I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof