my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?