dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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