haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize