woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
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You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
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I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies