considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
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the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
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There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.