So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower