mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!