I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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