You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
