I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
