Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
