I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize