You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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