If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
