the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?