Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.