goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize