At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
