Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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