Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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