ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
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she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
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ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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