this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
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I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
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I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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