what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize