My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
4 words: hood of his car
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
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Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
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Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it