No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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