i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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