I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...