I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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