I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.