This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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