ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
