I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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