Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
